Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize