Need sex. Gaining weight.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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