new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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