he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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