I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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