That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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