it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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