Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
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I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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