i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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