I can't watch pbs sober anymore
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize