why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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