Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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