Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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