In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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