drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize