So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
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Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
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Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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