i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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