Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize