so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
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Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
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then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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