One girl and one boy is just not enough.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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