She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize