Do you still have your period?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize