two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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