I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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