I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize