the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize