you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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