Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
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We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
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Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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