Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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