Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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