Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize