she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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