I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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