U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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