saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize