and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
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Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
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Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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