I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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