Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize