theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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