That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize