also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize