there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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