This is not my ceiling
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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