Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize