i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just found puke in my bra..
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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