everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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