Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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