you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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