I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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