I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize